I'm not sure whether to use this for good or evil...

I think we all know that I'm going to evil.

Read this, laugh. My fourth grade teacher wasn't someone I ever wanted to see the boobies of.

And boy oh boy, I couldn't leave this one alone. Is there anyone left in this country who doesn't think this guy is a total fucking crook?

If there is, I'll not only give you a dollar, but I'll walk down to the store with you so you can get a clue.