Friday, June 18, 2004

Anger, Apathy, and the 30-something male.

I'm a little pissy this morning, as it seems that Lycos has gone for a nice excursion up shit creek. It happens. Unfortunately, all too often. This time, I think, will be the last time. I'm going to take the plunge. I'm going to move everything to my gmail account, and just dump Lycos.

So, last night I was going to have a meeting with my MS Ride team. Sadly, only half of us were there. While we did get some talking done about the ride, we also spent some time talking about relationships. We are both 30-something single men. We're comfortable with that. We got to talking about one-nighters(I recanted a particularly sordid tale), and relationships. He's considering breaking off the one he's in, because "she's much more into it than I am." I've been thinking about this, quite a bit. I haven't had a serious relationship in about a year, mostly because I get bored so easily. I meet someone, think they're great, and lose interest between 45 minutes and 2 weeks. I have started to become apathetic towards relationships, because I can't seem to find someone I can enjoy for more than a week. We talked a bit about this and decided the question becomes am I just being too picky, or are there no quality women left in Chicago?

I'd like to think that there are still quality women out there. I know plenty, but they're friends, some of them so much so that I would never consider crossing that line. This is not a new struggle for me. Most all of my life, I have had closer female friends than male friends. Anyways. Those friends try to sent me up with their friends, and inevitably, I lose interest. Some of the more dynamic turn-offs I've heard recently:

"I miss Friends."
"What do you mean, megalomaniacal?"
"So, is this hockey?"
"What kind of car do you drive?"

Of course, as recently as last night, I've had some concersations that did a wonderful job of catching my interest. Some examples:

"I love [insert band name]- they sound like them?"
"You look very nice tonight." (It should be noted that I was actually somewhat dressed-up, considering I wasn't at work, in that I wore a shirt with buttons, instead of my usual t-shirt.)
"A day off suits you- you look so relaxed and at peace."
(commenting favorably on my work clothes) "I could get used to this."

Half of those sayings were from women who I consider to be too close of friends to go beyond.

I am what might be called a flirt. I love women. I love talking to them. I've kissed a lot of frogs, as the saying goes. Am I just getting impatient? Was it seeing an old friend in my alumni magazine getting married? Am I tired? Am I hungry? Is it a male biological clock? Is all that pressure from my family starting to crack at my previously strong facade? The question most on my mind is, where is my princess?

Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to complain, I have no regrets. I spent my 20's living in 3 different cities, one of them twice, had 6 jobs(three for the same company, but I was transferred), lived in countless different apartments and travelled all over the US. I lived the life of a rover. Now, however, I think I might be done. It might be time to settle down- and that's a scary thought.

2 Comments:

Blogger All Things Jennifer said...

Ah yes. I understand the close friend crossing the line game, which is why I always imagined I would end up with a Harry...me being the Sally...but out of nowhere John appeared and suddenly I am nesting? Life...

I am sure there are many quality women in Chicago...

12:31 PM  
Blogger cynthia said...

i didn't know men had biological clocks. but i'm relieved to hear it. i think you are looking in the wrong places. perhaps the wrong cities. but i know nothing of chicago. except that there's a cool little burrito place open till 3am where they serve drunks barely edible food.

2:53 PM  

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