Tech Support, This is Dave. How can I piss you off today?

I have to share this, because it's too funny.

Customer: Can I place cross-market spead orders in Lind Express?
Me: I don't know. That would be a question to ask a trader. Technical support doesn't answer trade questions.
Customer: Well, it is a techinical question.
Me: No, sir, that is a trade question. Tech support answers questions about technology, about the program, not about trading.
Customer: Well, if you're not sure, can you find out?
Me: Let me put you on hold.
[confer with my fellow computer specialists]
Me: Sir? You can place cross-market spreads, however only certain markets accept them. You'd have to ask a broker or your trade desk to find out which ones.
Customer: What do you mean certain markets? Like only the CME?
Me: Only certain commodities. Like I said, you'll have to ask your broker or trade desk to get this question answered.
Customer: Well, I don't think you know what you're talking about.

No shit, asshat. I told you that.

You're not going to believe this, but he just called back, after getting transferred around.

Me: Tech Support, this is Dave.
Customer: Yeah, I want to speak with somebody other than Dave.
Me: Okay.
Customer: Is Pete there?
Me: No.
Customer: I need to speak with someone other than Dave.
Me: Fine. [writes down phone number]

Vengeance will be mine.