Losing my professionalism.

I'm not sure what it is about today, if it's something in the air, water, or land, but people have maintained their idiocy today, some more flabbergastingly stupid exchanges:

Customer: Well, how do I access the charts?
Me: Click on the big button at the top that says 'charts.'

Customer: I can't get the program to work
Me: How do you mean?
Customer: Well, I click on the [program name]installer.exe file and it just reinstalls the program again.

That's just the tip of the iceberg. I need a vacation and a very, very stiff drink.