I couldn't resist.

Firsts
First job: first real job: Student Advisor, Kaplan Educational Centers, 1989
First screen name: Maurice
First funeral: Great Grandma Dorothy, 1976
First pet: I had a cat when I was about 1 1/2, but can't remember it, so Gracie.
First piercing: Left #1- 1988, L #2- 1989, L #3 1990, 2nd attempt 1991, L #4 1993, R #1 1996 R #2 2000
First tattoo: Yin-Yang on chest, 1993
First credit card: Visa
First kiss: Jennifer D., 1978 or so.
First enemy: Some guy I grew up with named Adrian. That's all I remember. It was a long, long time ago.

Last
Last car ride: Saturday night cab ride.
Last kiss: Tuesday night.
Last movie watched: Sixth Sense
Last beverage drank: 7up
Last food consumed: 12" Tuna Salad on Wheat
Last phone call: Some customer
Last time showered: 5:45 this morning
Last CD played: Bootleg of the Beta Band live in San Francisco, thanks to Henry.
Last website visited: Henry

Now
Single or taken: Single
Gender: Male
Birthday: October 4
Sign: Libra
Hair color: Bald as Kojak, baby!
Eye color: Golden brown
Shoe size: 12
Height: 5' 9"
Wearing: Grey pants, blue shirt, Yellow Submarine tie.
Thinking about: Sleep
Listening to: The pestering voices in my head. Oh wait, it's just the sounds of the office.

Thanks to All Things Jen(nifer) for the meme.