Thursday, January 13, 2005

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

I don't know what cosmic forces are out there making this week seem so horrible, but this has been one of my least favorite weeks to have my job.

Not that there are favorite weeks(well, maybe those weeks where I only work 3 or 4 days), but I'm sure I've had a better attitude.

Just yesterday I tried to use some new strategies when dealing with our customers. With one, who was irate because he was having problems with an order(something I cannot check on) and threatening to take his business elsewhere.

Me: Sir, I am trying to help you as best as I can, however, as a member of the technical support team, there is a limit to my functions. I cannot, although I would love to help you, tell you the status on your order. I can only direct you to the people who can help you with this information. If you'd like, I can transfer you now to the order check desk.

Oddly, although not a shining example of exemplary customer service, it did diffuse the situation. Sometimes, although not often, I get lucky with assholes(check out the speech from Team America about Dicks, Assholes, and Pussies).

This is contrasted by a call I had about 2 hours later, where the guy was just plain railing me- not something recommended by the ADA, AMA or USRDA:

Cust: Well, I know I can get these quotes.
Me: According to my supervisor, those quotes are not available and they haven't been for some time.
Cust: Well, why?
Me: I'm not sure. I think that because it is a pit-traded* commodity, streaming data is not available.
Cust: Well do you know or not know?
Me[already frustrated with customer, getting much worse]: I'm going to have to put you on hold.
Cust: Wait. Just tell me if you know for sure or not.
Me[beyond the point of any ability to be civil]: Please hold.
Me(speaking to my boss): I need you to pick this asshole up, before I tear into him like you've never wanted to see me tear into a customer before.

Turns out that the customer is one of those high-maintenance people who always need to be in control and always need to know that they're right. My boss, saint that he is, pointed out to the customer's representative that he was railing me, and that that wasn't allowed.

Today, no one's gotten that far under my skin(thankfully). The day, as it were, ain't over yet.

*Pit-traded, for those of you not familiar with the fascinating world of futures trading(please realize the sarcasm I'm trying to convey) means that there are actually men and women standing in an area together shouting buy and sell orders at each other. If you've never seen it, rent Trading Places and Ferris' Bueller's Day Off. Both show the relative controlled chaos that is the trading floor.


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