Here's one for the record books:

Me: You want to go to your Order Activity Screen for that information, go under View to Orders.
Customer: I don't see that on my menu.
Me: If you click on the View menu, the first item will be Orders.
Customer: I still don't see that.
Me: What do you see?
Customer: It says View, then Orders, then Quotes with an arrow....

And then the voice in my head said "ah-aaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!"