Friday, May 20, 2005

Movie Review: Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Honestly, I felt a little like I was turning 30 again- it was such a big deal leading up to it, but, in the end, it was moderately anti-climatic. I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy it- I thoroughly did- but that I had built up so much hype within myself that I was less than completely satisfied.

Warning! I'm not trying to spoil things but I've got some stuff I need to talk about. You might not want to read beyond here.

How long is the gestation period for a Naboo woman? According to the film, the passage of time would indicate that it's probably less than a week. You never really get a firm grip on the passage of time, but you watch Padme tell Anakin about their child, then, in what feels like no time at all, she goes from barely showing her pregnancy to having twins. I felt a little ripped off by this. Not that it really matters much in the whole story, I mean, we know that Luke and Leia are twins and all, and that Anakin is the father.

Not to mention that in 95% of the "love" scenes the dialogue was so bad I was rolling my eyes. Ugh. But that's to be expected, I think. It's not like Lucas to write good dialogue.

Evil will always triumph because good is dumb. Mace Windu stands over a unarmed, wounded Darth Sidious, lightsabre in hand, ready for the kill. What does he say? "I'm going to end this right now." What does he do? Hesitates, lets Anakin cut his arm off, which allows the Emperor to kill him. Now, I seem to remember Jedis being wise and decisive. Oh well. There goes one of my favorite characters.

Ok, last one.

When Darth Vader is finally in cased in his bad-ass black suit, why the sudden hommage to Frankenstein, with the yelling, the "can you hear me"s, the pulling the wrist restraints out, fuck. It was so cheesy it hurt. I remember leaning over and saying "that was so bad I'm pissed." That was a waste of time, and it brought down the movie.

There's a lot of really, really good action in this movie, and the lightsabre battles are epic. While I'm spending more time lambasting than praising, believe me, I'll be seeing it again. Soon.


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