By the rocket's red glare.

It has been absosmurfinlutely busy around here today. No gigantic problems, just that we've got a guy on vacation for 2 weeks, so we're only 2 instead of our usual three during the days. Not to mention I've been holding way to many hands today. Example:

Cust: I want to add the Professional Level Package to my account.
Me: Are you on the subscription page?
Cust: Yes.
Me: All you have to do is scroll down to where it says "update package" and click on the button that says "Add Professional Level Package."
Cust: I don't see that I only see [exactly what's at the top of the screen, before you scroll down].
Me: You'll have to scroll down, sir, and I'd recommend reading through this- it's full of important information.
Cust: I still don't see it.
Me: Scroll down some more.
Cust: Oh, there it is.
Me: Okay, go ahead. [pause for him to click on it]
Cust: Should I click on "Add Professional Level Package?"
Voice in my head: No, fuckhead, you click on puree. What the fuck do you think you click on?
Meanwhile, of course, customers with actual problems- at least, I assume they have actual problems- are calling and going to voicemail because I'm hand-holding a dipshit who wants someone to read the screen at him. I fucking hate that.

That's just one of my assholes from today. If I had more time, and less call volume, I'd share other stories with you. As it stands, I had to have Jen write most of this week's pub quiz, because I've been too damn busy here to do it myself. Big props to her for doing all that work.

My other time-constricted rant today is brought to you by the 4th of July morons still setting off fireworks in my neighborhood at 2:30 this morning. Those of us who actually have jobs that require thinking and at least a somewhat decent night's sleep really didn't want their poor, confused and scared cat to scratch the piss out of them whenever you thought it was appropriate to send another whistler into the sky. Thanks for everything- I appreciate it.

Asshole.