Monday, March 13, 2006

Possible Loves

I just finished watching a brilliant movie. I call it brilliant because it got me to thinking.

I like that in a movie.

The movie in question is Amores Possiveis, a Portuguese movie about a man who meets his true love in college, but when he finally gets the nerves to ask her out, she stands him up. The movie shows the "what ifs" of their relationship.

I'm a big fan of thinking about the what ifs.

I'm not going to recant the movie, that's not my job. I will say this: I used to think that I should find a woman who liked hockey, or cycling, or cooking, or karaoke, or Kurt Vonnegut, or punk rock, or Star Trek, or who understood that my mind flies from topic to topic seemingly without reason, and I can be engrossed in particle physics one second, then Latin poetry the next. Perhaps I have some strange form of adult ADD. I wouldn't put it past me.

Maybe the ideal woman for me speaks 4 languages, and we only have half of one in common, it could happen. Maybe she's got green eyes, maybe she's got blue eyes, maybe she's got grey eyes.

It doesn't matter at all. You know what I'm really looking for in life, who I really want to spend my life with?

I'll tell you.

In a second...

I'm looking for a girl who I can take on Couples Fear Factor. Isn't that what it really boils down to? I want a girl who I can hold upside down, whilst blindfolded, over a vat of cow intestines while we're supposed to grab a certain number of flags from some Plexiglas structure which is strapped to a moving semi with electric eels being thrown at us. That's the girl for me.

After all, love is blind, and love means never having to say "sorry I dropped you into a vat of cow intestines while I was blindfolded and we were retrieving flags from some Plexiglas structure attached to a moving semi while having electric eels thrown at us, honey."

This could be a profound, ground-breaking vin-dit for me. Or the glass of riesling I had with my dinner tonight, which turned quickly into the bottle of riesling I had with my dinner tonight, could be doing the talking.

I'll let history be the judge of that.

Time for a cup of tea, methinks, then straight to bed.


Blogger Postmodern Sass said...

I was with you right up until the cow intestines.

8:25 AM  
Blogger Maria said...

OK, it's definitely not me.

8:50 AM  
Blogger Dave said...

Ladies, I definitely wouldn't drop either of you. Especially into that muck.

I think the best stunt I ever saw while flipping through channels was where one of the couple was blindfolded and driving a car while the other guided them onto a ramp.

Now doesn't that sound like more fun?

9:46 AM  
Blogger Jen(nifer) said...

Damn. And I always thought you could have been my dream man, but it would never work between us.

Of course, thankfully my *alternate* Dave-ish boyfriend I found closer to where I live...speaks Porteguese, wears glasses and is bald. Ahem.

Practices martial arts, is an artist...went to a haiku open poetry reading with me this weekend and I went to a tango lesson with him. A million common and uncommon interests together, but fearfactor is not one of them.

Good luck Dave!;)

11:34 AM  

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