Saturday, October 14, 2006

Opinions really are like assholes.

Joey posted this pic the other day, from SANCTUARY blog

The image got stuck in my head, honestly, and I kept trying to figure out what it reminded me of. Finally, after some mindless wall-staring contests, I realized what it was:
I'm not sure why, but that's what it reminds me of.

To get back to the title, and the point, of this whole post, my step-sister is now an E-2 in the Navy, soon to be an E-3. She looks very good in a uniform, and she's the happiest I've ever seen her. At the beginning of graduation, before they sent the 8 divisions of seaman recruits in, they showed us, the family and friends, a video of what their boot camp was like. My step-mother and I were both a little surprised to learn that they not only gave my step-sister a gun, but that she won a ribbon as a marksman.

After that, they showed us a video about the war we're not fighting in Iraq- the one we supposedly won, what, 2, 3 years ago. It basically glossed over the issues, and made it seem like no one ever gets hurt in combat. I felt almost like I was watching a cartoon.

It should go without saying that I got a little red under the collar. I also got to thinking, which eventually formed into an idea once I had met up with my friends for drinks and general mayhem later on. I was discussing the video with my friend J, the anarchist who says he'll vote for me if I run for president in 2008. We got into it a little about the causes of the war, where the blame lies, etc., etc.

You want to know what I blame the Iraq war on? Well, if you're still reading, I'll tell you then. I blame it on NASCAR.

I'm not shitting you. NASCAR lulls people into thinking that they're watching a sport, a sport where people drive in a circle for hundreds of times in a row. NASCAR consumes vast amounts of fuel in qualifiers, practices, and actual races, and wouldn't you know it, they bitch about the price of gas, too.

Anyways, the conspiracy theory I'm trying to put forth is that NASCAR hypnotizes people into watching a sport that is entirely dependent on gasoline and oil, which we're supposedly not fighting a war (that we're not still fighting) about, and most folks I know who enjoy NASCAR are from, drumroll please, red states. Red states, of course, enabled a jackass to be elected POTUS not once, but twice. That jackass then got together with a bunch of cronies and a boatload of bullshit and got us into a 21st century version of Viet Nam.

The dominoes, my friends have fallen.

I could, of course, be talking out of my ass, that's very much so a possibility. I'm just going to stick with my non-subliminal hockey and my blue state and my cold beer and that is that.


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