Duck Thoughts by Jack Handey

As I was riding the train to work today, I (as I do every day) took a moment and looked at the Chicago River. Today, I saw a duck swimming along, looking somewhat like a jogger. I wondered to myself "at what point does a duck just say 'aw, fuck it. I'm swimming to work today'?"

I mean, the Chicago River isn't known for having a lovely scent to it, so I can't really tell why anyone, even a duck, would want to spend extra time in it. Not to mention the fact that ducks can fly, and that's got to be a much more fun way to get around than swimming. More efficient, too.