Thursday, June 29, 2006

Kickin' down the cobblestones and feelin'...

Industrious and productive. I've been up and about since 6:30- for some reason, even without the need to wake up at unholy hours of the morning to work, I still refuse to sleep past 7. C'mon- I've only been unemployed for, what, 13 days? You'd think I would have adjusted by now.

No way.

Just a quick note, as I'm planning on grabbing a quick bite for lunch, then heading to IKEA for some DVD rack and file cabinet shopping. Oh, and I threw out my toilet brush, so that needs to be replaced, and the dish drainer is ugly and old and shitty, and...

I'm pretty sure I should make a list before I go.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Just about the coolest fucking thing ever...

Happened last night. I decided, about a week ago, to take my friends R and L and A and I to a Cubs game. Last week at pub quiz, I mentioned to one of my quizzers, who happens to work for the Cubs, that I was going. She asked me what I wanted on the scoreboard:
Although I didn't get a picture of it, the display before this read "Globe's Pub Quiz Reigns Supreme." So, extra special thanks to my friend and pub quizzer A, who orchestrated the whole thing! It was just about the coolest thing to ever happen to me! All this on one of the most magical days of my life, too!

Monday, June 26, 2006


Buddy you're a boy make a big noise
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on yo' face
You big disgrace
Kickin' your can all over the place

'We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you'

Buddy you're a young man hard man
Shoutin' in the street gonna take on the world some day
You got blood on yo' face
You big disgrace
Wavin' your banner all over the place

'We will we will rock you'
'We will we will rock you'

Buddy you're an old man poor man
Pleadin' with your eyes gonna make you some peace some
You got mud on your face
You big disgrace
Somebody better put you back into your place

'We will we will rock you'
'We will we will rock you'
'We will we will rock you'
'We will we will rock you'

I've paid my dues
Time after time
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand
Kicked in my face
But I've come through
And I need to go on and on and on and on

We are the champions - my friend
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions of the world

I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls
You've bought me fame and fortune
And everything that goes with it
I thank you all
But it's been no bed of roses no pleasure cruise
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race
And I ain't gonna lose
And I need to go on and on and on and on

We are the champions - my friend
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions of the world

We are the champions - my friend
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions

My friends, I asked for your advice, and you gave it to me via comment and e-mail and even phone call, and I appreciate it.

Since then, I have received 3 phone calls from the person who made me the offer, and I returned the calls with my final answer* which was a resounding no. I decided that it just wasn't worth it. After all, remember how much I hated my old job? Here's a refresher:

*Note to Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?: please don't sue.

Let's give him something to think about...

No, we're not talking about love here, folks. We're talking about a job offer.

My old boss' boss just called, this is the same guy who walked by my desk a week and a half ago and said "there's something different about you, Dave, some kind of glow you have about you." He's offering me my old job back, with a raise, but without overtime, starting tomorrow. I keep any and all severance money I have and have not collected (the next big check comes in on the 30th), and the raise is rather significant.

He specifically requested of me, however, that I work on my attitude with the customers, and that I better control my reactions to them. This is not unreasonable, as I have always been rather short with customers, and perfectly understandable. As he put it, he would look like an idiot if he hired me back only to have to fire me over an incident with a customer.

I, as I told him, completely understand this.

While I really, really don't want that job back, and I really, really do not relish having to go to work tomorrow, it would, however, be nice to not have to worry about work.

Anyways, an answer is expected from me in the next few hours, and I'm throwing it to you, my dear friends and neighbors. Do I, rather literally, sell out to the company who has already paid me generously to no longer work there? Or do I stick with the severance package and potentially fall flat on my face?

Sunday, June 25, 2006

one, two, three princes

Before I pass out from exhaustion, and the two shots I had, I have to share three pictures from this last 3 days, one spent with Joey:

Who was incredibly patient with me, when I took him to the hardware store, the craft store, and the bike shop, before I arranged for beer or food, both of which he was craving.
My bike team, who, out of 17 riders who showed up, 10 of which did a century on Saturday (some of which are pictured here, everyone will be on display when I get my film back):

And the people who helped me celebrate the fact that I indeed can still walk:

There's more. I'll let you know when I know.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

While I do enjoy the occasional pina colada...

I maintain a very strict anti-gettin' caught in the rain policy, which was completely broken this morning as I biked the lakefront one last time before my big bike ride this weekend. So, as I headed out this morning, admittedly later than I originally planned to head out, I looked at the ominous clouds moving in from the west and thought to myself "I can get in at least 20 before it starts to rain."

I have admittedly made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I am usually among the first to admit that I made them- sleeping with the wrong person, quitting the wrong job, thinking I remember all the words to She Bop, that kind of thing. This morning, I was way, way off, as you can tell by the radar picture above.

It really got bad after I passed North Avenue- and I still had 5 miles to go before I got home at that point. Not the best of places to be and not the best conditions to be in. When I did finally get home, the lightning was striking and I was thinking about the idiots I saw huddling under trees and about how wet I was and about how dry I wanted to be.

I opened my saddle bag to get my keys when I discovered an unfortunate fact about my saddle bag- it isn't waterproof. Either that, or the zipper let in a shitload of water. I quickly removed the contents while still on my front porch and did a quick inventory to see what, if anything, was ruined, and what could be salvaged, which seems like everything will make it, save for the bike tube box I had in there- cardboard doesn't last long when wet, after all:
The Powerbars and Accel Gels should be ok, the gloves will eventually dry out. The CO2 cartridges will be fine. My knee brace will hopefully dry out by tomorrow. The bike shorts and jersey will need to be washed, but are ok. My cellphone, wallet and Hexus tool should be ok in a bit. My saddle bag? Believe it or not, I poured about a quarter cup of water out of it after emptying it. Scary. My cat, who snuck into the picture, is perfectly fine- she's always curious when I come in soaking wet, that's all.

So, I'm off for a nice warm shower to wash off all the grime and rain and what's left of my suntan lotion from me. Joy of joys, no?

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

New Toy

Because it was on sale and because I was so frustrated trying to write pub quiz on my tiny, tiny monitor that I bought after the kitty vomit incident, I got me a brand new monitor:

And because a new box was brought into the house, Mia just had to jump in it:

She's having way too much fun with me around all the time.

Monday, June 19, 2006

What I got for father's day.

I'll bet you didn't know this, but I got something for father's day yesterday. I get something every year. This year, it was a CD that I was told I would like. Please don't tell her that I've listened to it, and I'm not that impressed. That would break her little heart. Not that she knows she got it for me. I just picked it out and bought it. Not that she doesn't care, either, she just doesn't understand the concept of money, or shopping, or music for that matter. Although she does have her favorites- she loves Mozart, for one.

She's cute, too. Sometimes I wish I had listened to her vet, way back in the day, and gotten her into modeling. I just didn't want a cat with a big ego. Instead I spoiled her rotten and got myself a cat with a big ego. Ah well, you win some, and you lose some.

Well, with yestday being father's day, I had to make sure that it didn't overshadow today, her birthday. She is 9 years old to you and I, which makes her 53 in human years. She certainly doesn't look or act her age, though. She's still extrememly playful. She is, however, on the "old cat" formula from IAMS.
That being said, happy birthday, Mia, and thanks for the CD!

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Country roads, take me home...

After drinking my employment away on Friday, I had a mission.

I had to get to get to the farm for the weekend. With my grandfather being sick, and not fully knowing how sick, I made it a point. I woke up bright and early, loaded up my roommate's car and hit the lonely highway, and went west (young man).

It was exactly what I needed. Relaxation. Clean air. Family. Hills. I finally got my bike out there and rode the insane hills that are all around my grandparents' farm, and I had a blast. I mean, what could be more blissful than going from looking at this:

To looking at this?

Friday, June 16, 2006


That's it!

Good night, and good luck.

Last Day, Gemini 26


My last day working at this place.


Rules I'm breaking at this point:
I'm wearing jeans in a less-than-perfect condition.
I'm wearing sandals.
My shirt technically falls under the "sports apparel" guidelines of the employee handbook.

Last week, after learning of my soon-to-be dismissal, I decided to put a cap on the number of older gentlemen I would talk to who shouldn't be using the internet, much less risking thousands of dollars trading futures online. I decided one for every month of service here would be a good number, and I came up with 29. If the company can't see fit to pay me for an extra 1.25 days of vacation time earned for working half of the month of June, I'm not giving them the extra old guy.

At this point, I have two remaining, and I'm allowing duplicates to count as one. After those two are used up, well, they get put on hold. They can wait for someone else. I'm just not putting up with that anymore.

Last night I did something I should have done a while ago. I went out and got a new digital camera. My last one has been broken or less-than-functional since my 30th birthday party. It was high time to replace it, and the same basic model was on sale, so the words 'fuck it' came out of my mouth and I plunked down a small portion of my retention bonus for a cheap new camera.

Just in case you were wondering where the self-portrait came from. Or the picture of my cat trying to figure out what kind of drink I poured myself below. Try to ignore the messiness of my coffee table. Thanks.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

The Summer of Dave starts Tomorrow!

At a theatre near you!


I woke up late this morning, mostly because I had a terrible time falling asleep last night. I think that a 4-3 overtime short-handed goal might have something to do with it, but I could be wrong. It was one of those magical moments where, when Pisani got the puck and entered the offensive zone, I stood up and said "oh shit!"

When he scored, I was hooting and hollering. No wonder my cat doesn't like watching sports with me.

So, this morning, it was a little rough when the alarm clock went of. Snooze bars were hit, mental deals were made with myself, extra sleep negociations were entered into. The end result was that I didn't leave my house for work until 5:40 and I had to be here at 6. Knowing today is payday and that I'll be receiving a rentention bonus (made extremely ironic by the fact that I am, after tomorrow, not being retained), I made the executive decision to take a cab to work.

You know you've been working in financials too long when a cabbie can spot that you work in financials.

Immediately after entering his cab, he started talking to me about stocks- how he was doing, how the market was down on Tuesday and his stocks went up, only to have the market go up on Wednesday and his stocks go down. Yadda yadda yadda. I may work in this industry, but I am not an investor, other than my lapsed 401(k) that I'm going to have to decide what to do with soon. Maybe I'll cash it out and throw it in with all the other money they're going to pay me to ride my bike, go to baseball games, and have a good buzz early in the afternoon.

Come catch the Summer of Dave, tomorrow at Dylan's at 118 S Clinton in Chicago. I should be there about 4 or so, and a pub crawl will probably ensue. I'll be the guy in the bowling shirt, jeans and sandals.

Tomorrow, we smoke them out.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Time for a camera phone

This is going to sound like a song lyric.

Or maybe a dream.

Or maybe a really good acid trip.

I was walking through Union Station on my way to pick up lunch when I saw a Bhuddist Monk, in the full traditional orange robes sitting on one of the benches. He was eating a burrito.

I am now taking suggestions as to which camera phone I should pick up- there's just some moments in life that shouldn't go undocumented, you know?

Monday, June 12, 2006

Love me, love my vanishing spare tire.

I'm not the thinnest person in the world. I know it. I spent my childhood extrememly thin- my freshman 15 was actually a freshman 45, and as of this morning, I weigh 66 pounds more than I did when I graduated high school. It should be noted that I have not grown an inch since I was 16, either, so I've been the same height that entire time.

As usually happens when I'm getting ready for the MS Ride, I have lost, over the last couple months, about 20 pounds, after which I usually gain about 15 back. I'm a little anxious because I haven't gained it back. Personally, I think that I am eating healthier and that I have actually reached the balance of fat vs muscle in my body. Of course, sometimes I'm not eating all that healthy, and sometimes I'm not in the mood to exercise, or I'm too busy.

All I can really tell you is that I'm seriously wanting these. Ok, I don't want one, I want an entire tray. Cheesecake and I are old friends with a lot in common, like me wanted to eat it and it tasting very, very good to me. Maybe after the ride is done I'll whip up a batch of these for the team. Or just for me. That's a good way to get the pounds back on, right?

Special thanks to Cooking For Engineers for making the recipe so simple even a culinary idiot like me can do it.

Sunday, June 11, 2006


"I'm too short for this shit."

-King from Platoon

I sauntered down here today with the intention of blowing off a lot of my usual duties like answering the phone and being nice to idiots. I had also intended on getting in early so I could start transferring my music files from my work computer to my home computer.

Ordinarily, I would have used my handy jump drive to do it, but it only has 128MB of space. The music I'm keeping from my work computer (operative word there is keeping) adds up to a whopping 6.79GB.

For those of you scoring at home, this process would mean travelling back and forth to my house 54 times.

Because I am short, short meaning my days in the service of my company are very low-numbered and because I don't feel like shuttling back and for that many times, and even if I did pick up a 1GB drive, there just plain isn't enough time for me to transfer my music, my precious, precious music to my home computer.

What's the solution? (I know you've been waiting for this) It is Go2MyPC, a handy-dandy little program that I've used almost every day since we got it to control other people's computers remotely. Me, I've logged onto my home computer and I've been running a file transfer for 5 hours or so.

This is fun to watch. Oh, and real fun? Playing games on your home computer from your work computer.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Tell me now, what do I have to do?

I just got a call from within our company, asking me if I could call a customer and explain a part of our program to them, here in my 5th to last ever night shift. Here's how it went in my head*:

"Now, could you give him a call"

"I gotta tell you, that's just not going to happen."


"See, I was laid off yesterday, and even before I was laid off, I was extrememly against calling customers for any reason other than the fact that I had promised them that I would call them back, which is something that I rarely did. Promising, that is. Now that I know that I have a finite amount of time left at my now back to crummy desk, unless this client is going to pay me large amounts of money for a bare minimum of work, I have absolutely no interest in helping them whatsoever, unless they force me to do so by calling my desk. AUGH-AUUUUUUUUUGH!"

"Good point."

*please keep in mind that voice in my head, the voice of my inner self, is played by the late, great, Samuel Burl Kinison.

and before I forget again...

Special thanks to Jen, who photoshopped, or let's call it "officiated" over the digital bonding of two pictures of myself and the lovely Maria.

A thought just crossed my mind. If we hyphenate, should it be Logan's Knit Girl or Naked Dave?

Discuss amongst yourselves.

6/6/6... a big day for me.

I didn't win the lottery- at least, I didn't win it by myself. My office pool might have won. The office pool that will cease to exist in the present format on June 16th.

June 16th. I keep thinking about that day.

June 16th is exactly one week before I leave for the MS Ride. Now, I ask, why the fuck didn't they lay me off 3 weeks ago? I could have spent the entire month of June on my bike, and I would have been, as hard as it is to believe, happier.

I'm pretty happy right now. For me, a seriously bad-attituded guy, this is big news. I won't lie to you. I hate my job. I've hated it for a while. It is just impossible to be bombarded with idiotic questions for that long.

I do maintain, however, that the stupidest question ever asked of me had nothing to do with working tech support. I was working at Tower. A woman walked in with her boyfriend. I was working the main register, and she walked up and asked me where we kept our CD's.

I couldn't make this shit up, either.

I was, as rarely happens, speechless. All I could do was point towards, well, the entire goddamn store and say "here."

Tonight was a busy pub quiz, and I am tired. I am bwedded, too. One of the waitresses that works my pub quiz came up to me tonight and said "I'm surprised you're here- weren't you supposed to run off and get married today." I asked her who said I hadn't already. What she doesn't know is that despite her young age, she was on the short list. That mystical list of 6 people I would have actually married today, especially if I had known that I would have been able to blow off work so easily.

Anyways. I'm putting an end to this post and my day. Despite my newly found soon-to-be unemployment, I am restricted by my work ethic to still show up on time tomorrow.

What a drag.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006


On this special date, 666, it is a really exciting day for this blog. Ladies and gentlemen, we are making blog history. I present you with the first blog wedding in the history of blogging.
Today this blog is getting married to Naked Knit Girl. On the left you can see a picture of us digitally joined, and with out further ado, let me present you with our wedding song, sung to the tune of Billy Idol's White Wedding:

Hey dear reader what have you done?
Hey dear reader who's the only one?
Hey dear reader who's your knitgirl?
Hey dear reader who's the one you google?
Hey dear reader, internet!

It's a nice day to post again
It's a nice day for a blog wedding
It's a nice day to post again.

Hey dear reader who you google with?
Hey dear reader what's your vice and wish?
Hey dear reader internet (oh yeah)
Hey dear reader who's your knitgirl
Hey dear reader, internet!

It's a nice day to post again (come on)
It's a nice day for a blog wedding
It's a nice day to post again.

Take me back home, yeah!

Hey dear reader what have you done?
Hey dear reader who's the only one?
I've been knitting for so long (so long)
I've been knitting for so long (so long)
I let you go for so long

It's a nice day to post again (come on)
It's a nice day for a blog wedding
It's a nice day to post again.

There is nothin' fair in this world
There is nothin' safe in this world
And there's nothin' sure in this world
And there's nothin' pure in this world
Look for something left in this world

Come on
It's a nice day for a blog wedding
It's a nice day to post again.
It's a nice day for a blog wedding
It's a nice day to post again!!!!!!!

PB, you're my hero.

I don't really need to remind any of you that last October, our former CEO managed to screw not only our customers and stockholders, but our employees by fucking up some serious accounting issues that cost a lot of people a lot of money.

I'm talking about half a billion dollars, folks.

Anyways, on Friday, when I got back from a company outing to a Sox game, I saw the last thing I wanted to see: a big, fat envelope from my employer. I opened it, and my heart sank very, very deep. It was forms for my new benefit package.

20 minutes ago I learned that the one thing I've wanted out of this whole situation has finally happened.

I am being laid off and given quite a nice severance package, including two months of insurance and pay, effective June 16th.

I have to tell you that I am so happy I could die. I've been preparing for this day for a long time, about 8 months or so. I've been hoping for this severance package.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I will be changing my last name to Naga-nagonnaworkhereanymore and I would like to pronounce this the Summer of Dave!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

I told you I look good on a bike.

Finally! After looking through 19,000 plus pictures from Bike the Drive, I finally came up with one of myself! Unfortunately, you can't really tell, but my socks have little Canadian flags on them, a little tribute to my friends up north!

Counting down.

My college reunion is this weekend. I can tell you with all seriousness that I never really planned on going. All the people I wanted to sleep with who I didn't already sleep with are married. Besides, what am I going to tell them? I don't think I should reuse the High School reunion trick again. I could be straightforward and honest about my life, but there's really nothing too spicy about it right now.

But in two days, I want to get married. Something tells me that I should have already bought myself and my bride to be plane tickets already. I might have missed the boat on that one.

In four months, I'll have another birthday. This one's going to be entertaining- and largely based on Rolling Rock beer (not to drink, mind you, but relying on numbers is important).

In 4 weeks my friend D and his fiancee are getting married. They're doing the whole church wedding thing, which is about the last thing I expected him to ever do. He's an atheist like me, except maybe a touch saner. Note to self- find a date for that one.

In 6 weeks I will be in Boston, for a wedding reception. I have a date lined up, and she's pretty excited about going. I'm going to get us some Red Sox tickets for the night before. Should be a hoot. Should be a hoot and a half. Here I thought it'd be years before I would get back there. Turns out I was wrong.

I can't complain about being wrong about that.

In three weeks, I will be doing the MS Ride on a knee that didn't even want to finish the mileage I had planned for yesterday. To the tune of me saying to my friend "I need to stop now," literally throwing my bike to the ground and then punching said ground, because I was in too much pain.

This is very much not a good sign.

Somehow, Old Yeller (as we're calling the knee these days) needs to get through the next 3 weeks without dislocating or worse, and yesterday was a testament that I might be skating on very, very thin ice. It goes without saying that before I do the 2007 ride, I'll be revisiting the surgeon's office and getting fixed up. As it turns out, one of my teammates is friends-of-friends with my sports medicine doctor, the woman who said to me almost three years ago that she was considering knee replacement as one of my options. My argument was that I was only 30, and was perhaps too young for that. Her argument was that I would probably be much better off getting it done now, while I was younger and healthier, rather than wait until I was older. Fortunately for me, the surgeon sided with me, and I had the same surgery I had twice when I was 19. It's supposed to last 7-10 years, and I don't have to tell you that it's been a lot longer than that.

Right now, I'm counting down til lunchtime. My cat has been pestering me to eat so she can beg for food from me for a while. She's cute when she does that. Really, really cute.