Friday, December 31, 2004

So this is New Year's, and what have you done?

Here I am, facing the end of 2004, a relatively stable year of the Dave. I can't complain too much. After all, it was just this time last year when I heard I got my new job, the one I'm presently working.

Having a job sure has helped. So did surgery.

Anyways, there will be resolutions, minor ones, ones I haven't really made before. I'm potentially also going to be joining a gym, or purchasing some home exercise equipment, but that's not really a resolution, that's under doctor's orders.

So, have a good safe night. Personally, I'm spending NYE the way I try to every year, with those close to me for drinks, dancing, and fun.

And I apologize in advance for all the "happy New Year" drunk dialing I'm going to do tonight. You know who you are.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Get off your lazy ass.

I've been stewing about something this morning.

First of all, let me say that the tragedy of the tsunami isn't lost on me. It's a horrible event in the world's history. I'm pondering having next week's pub quiz benefit the Red Cross/Red Crescent charities instead of my own. It seems the least I could do.

Secondly, why, oh why, is our president still on vacation? This article points out that other world leaders are going back to work to help however they can. This is a good thing, promoting the world community and solidarity among the nations. Something our president has said he's doing by fighting the war against terror. News flash W, but there are about two thousand Americans unaccounted for. Sound familiar? Remind you of anything? You sure didn't waste any time to come to their aid. I guess when Americans get injured, killed, or disappear outside of the U.S. it just doesn't mean as much to you.

Thirdly, I noticed during the press conference I saw on the news this morning, all about how we're increasing our aid to those devastated, that the placard behind our "leader" read "The Western White House Crawford, Texas." Do me a favor. Stay there. Heed this advice. Take the rest of your damn red states with you, too.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

It's been a long say here in the world of Logan's Dave.

But I'm not going to get into it. I'm not in the mood. Suffice to say that I've completed tonight's pub quiz, and read far too much about the Tsunami.

I'm craving some good news.

That's the story for now.

Monday, December 27, 2004

Morning, this is the wrong foot, wrong foot, this is my morning.

Everything was find this morning at home, then I got to work, and now I'm six ways of unhappy with my day. Someone should look into this.

How was my weekend? It was good, aside from drinking too much and staying out too late with the non-believers(specifically a Hindu, an atheist Jew, and a recovering Christian). Although it made for a fun Saturday night, it was a bit too much for my tired body.

Note to self: New Year's resolution is to stop treating my body like I'm still in my 20's.

All in all, I still had a fun weekend- I watched 20 episodes of Star Trek('cuz I'm a nerd and nothing else was open), and that's pretty much it. The exciting news from Friday's extraordinarily slow and boring workday is that I now have Wednesday off, so if you're coming to my pub quiz on Tuesday, expect to have a drink or two with the quizmaster afterwards. I'll be there.

Friday, December 24, 2004

I am a victim of circumstances.

After an afternoon's worth of drinking at Raven's, I have returned home to discover that my roommate, also a non-believer, purchased a mutual present. Ironically, the present coincides with something I bought myself this afternoon. So, what did two computer nerds buy for each other?

None other than the 6th and 7th seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

I already had 1-5, but was missing the last two.

The magic of this moment isn't lost on me- don't you worry.

Insanity.

I'm listening to a CD my friend J gave me when he visited last weekend, the Quincy Punx and wondering why the hell I bothered to come to work today. On my walk from the train to my office, I encountered exactly zero people. Nobody. It was kinda eerie, what with this town suddenly being a ghost town.

This afternoon will be spent watching football with those near and dear to me. I'm looking forward to that. I'm also looking forward to the bottle of Ketel One my boss gave me for the holidays- it's been in my freezer since last night, so it should be more than ready for me once I get home.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

HAPPY FESTIVUS!

For the rest of us!

In a somehow related story, check this out.

Groan.

Groan because I overslept. I woke up to the alarm, looked at it, hit snooze, and went back to sleep. When the snooze went off, I looked at it, grumbled, turned off the alarm, and promptly went back to sleep. Not the greatest way to start my day, but here I am.

Groan again because of this article. Not because of the story itself, but the name of the company. I think there are ok times to have a pun or joke in your business. Sometimes, however, it's just too fuckin' creepy. This would be a case of too fuckin' creepy. Even reading about them on their website makes me feel uncomfortable.

Anyways, time to find something else to look at.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

How Logan's Dave Stole Christmas.

Of course, because Logan's Dave is an atheist, Christmas is usually not a big deal to me- when I worked retail, I was more than happy to put in a shift, or two, just for the double-time pay I knew I would receive. Now that I'm back to having a grown-up job with weekends and holidays off(well, sadly, the Canadian markets are open on Friday, so I'll be putting in a half-day), they just mean an extra day off, unfortunately this time, not during the week.

I was very happy today to come across this information, presenting the "top 5" movies for those who "just don't like Christmas." I guess I would be one of those people. The question then becomes, how many of these movies do I own? None. How many would I like to own? 4. Maybe that'll be a project for Friday when I get off work at 12. I'll hit up the DVD store and make me some purchases.

Sounds like fun, doesn't it?

Wind chills and numerology.

It's cold out in Chicago. I like it. When it's this cold, I tend to get to work a little faster- just so I'm not out in the cold. It works well for me.

My co-worker just got back from Starbucks and reports that someone spilled coffee outside, while he was inside, and when he left, said coffee was frozen. Cool.

I found this little site yesterday, and thought it was worth a post. It's about numerology. Here's my profile. Click on the personal button at the top to do your own. You can also get an online Tarot reading. Mine just doesn't seem all that positive. I dunno. It's something to play with.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Where have you gone, Logan's Dave?

I took the weekend off. I took yesterday off. I recuperated.

Sad is the commentary that I still felt the hangover from Friday night Sunday morning. Sad. I wasn't feeling all that well last night, either. But I got through it. Let's do a brief recap, then go about our days, shall we?

Friday my friends got into town, so, we met at Ginger's Ale House for dinner and drinks. Upon my arrival, my favorite 3 year old(pictured here) came running up for a big hug. It was great. He was even wearing a Pogues t-shirt, which pretty much made the evening for me. After dinner, his mom L and I headed out on the town with my best friend, and we got our drink on, even meeting up with my roommate at one point, then abandoning all hope and heading to my favorite taqueria. Life was good.

Saturday, despite all my hungover misery(I may be getting too old for this shit) I managed to have lunch with them, and found some unique holiday presents for my dad. I also stopped by Best Buy for some cartridges for my printer, and, of course, a quick look in the cheap DVD bin yielded a purchase of 2010. Not the world's best movie, but for a guy who likes as much bad Sci-Fi as I do, it hits the spot. I also bought myself one of these little gizmos, and spend most of my morning off yesterday playing Galaga in my underwear.

Saturday night was an interesting experiment: can Dave care for a 3 year old, by himself, at a Wolves' game? The answer is a resounding yes. Little G and I had quite the time- watching the game, hanging out, having fun. He got a little scared during the introduction, with all the fireworks and flames and the like, so we had to vacate our seats for a minute, but he really got into the game. And the cotton candy- I repeatedly reminded him to take little person bites instead of shoving gargantuan amounts of sugar into his mouth. A big shout-out goes to the firefighters sitting next to us(it was firefighters' night I guess) one of which gave G his free hat. Quoth the toddler "woah!" It was fun. It retriggered the paternal instincts in me, as he always does.

I spent Sunday hanging out, then went to Raven's to watch the football games, which included the ugliest win in Vikings history. I got to witness this exchange between my friend B, the bartender, and E, one of the other football fanatics there:

E: I think he'll make the hall of fame, first round, but it'll be posthumously.
B: Why would it be posthumous?
E: Well, because he's dead.

For some reason, this completely cracked me up. Could be my sick sense of humor. Could be I'm just weird. Could have been, I suppose, the alcohol. Time will tell.

Yesterday, I just relaxed. I had PT around noon, hung out there for a bit, headed home, didn't do much of anything, honestly. It was nice.

That's my weekend update. More later, after I write tonight's pub quiz.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Celebrex line of the day:

"What this means for people who have heart disease is it's best to avoid these drugs," she said.


The rest of the article is here.

I'm not sure what to say.

It's not that scary, yet it is. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

What's all the hubbub about?

This.

People do keep telling me to wear pants...

My horoscope from the Onion:

Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
With winter upon us, it's time to reflect, take stock of our lives, and maybe wear a skirt that covers your thighs, you slut.

Also cracking me the fuck up today, the designated pisser rule.

#26 with a bullet.

Last night I was just plain worn out. I did none of the grocery shopping I told myself I had to do. I just vegged out and took it easy. Life gets like that sometimes. Besides, I need all the energy I can muster for this weekend, with friends coming to town.

Anyways, I got an e-mail from the MS Society, Volume 2, issue 1 of the MS 150 e-newsletter. Included in this issue is the list of "Gold Spokers." The Gold Spokers are the top 150 fundraisers of the previous year. I debuted at #26. Not bad for a guy who had done literally no fundraising before in his life. Needless to say, I'm hoping to double my contribution this year, which will hopefully get me into the top 10. I'm very proud of what I've done so far, needless to say.

I found this link over on Wonkette, and just had to share, in case any of you need to do some last-minute shopping. Oh, and this picture on Cynthia's blog(via Raymi) just about split my sides open.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Why I can't(shouldn't) nap.

Last night I was absolutely exhausted. After PT and a quick dinner and a couple of pints(I'm starting to get used to eating veggie burgers, for those of you worried about my diet), I went home to watch some TV and get some rest. I never knew it would come so quickly.

I fell asleep about 9 or so- on the couch. Realizing that I didn't want to sleep there, I got up, brushed my teeth, and hit the sack. I don't think I was conscious for another 5 minutes after turning out the bathroom light. It was nice.

The weird part came when my phone rang around 10:30. I woke up, turned off my alarm, turned on the light, and tried to figure out why Malcolm in the Middle was on the TV so early in the morning. I got up, went to the bathroom and started brushing my teeth. Again. Finally, I started to notice certain things weren't quite right- and it dawned upon me: it wasn't 4am, it was 10:30pm. Oh. Time to go back to bed. Well, almost. The phone rang again. It's my friend L, who's coming to town tomorrow. This is important.

Needless to say, confusion ran rampant for those 15 minutes, until I calmed down and got my head back on. Mind you, this happens whenever I nap. No wonder my blood pressure is so "high."

Anyways, I rewrote the text for my MS Ride website, updated the picture and did some work on the team page. After such an accomplishment, I feel like I need a new challenge, until I realize that I have about 160 days until I'm riding my first official century.

No worries, though. I can handle it.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Planning ahead.

I just finished putting up my preliminary website for the 2005 MS Tour de Farms Ride. I'll be making some changes tomorrow after I write some new copy, which is handily stored at work on the computer. Such is life.

Anyways, I'm very excited to be doing this again, and please, give early, give often!

Blast(s) from the past.

This December seems to be bringing back to my life old friends and lovers that I haven't heard from in ages. I'm not complaining. This is a good thing. So, welcome back into the fray, M, T, and K. Good to have you back.

waking up.

I was up late last night. Late, at least, for a person who had to be here at 6, anyways. This isn't really a shocker. I'm horrible about going to bed on time.

Some friends of mine showed up for pub quiz last night. We are a rowdy bunch. There were drinks to drink. There was fun to be had. We did both. Not a good recipe for a bouncy, alert Dave in the morning.

So, my big beef of the moment is the shocking number of our clients who don't know what a hyphen is. I know I'm not all that good with my grammar, spelling or punctuation, but shit, at least I know that a hyphen(-) isn't a slash(/). A study should be done as to how many times a day I have to make that distinction.

Now that my brain is thawed out from it's, well, whatever funk held my synapses this morning, here's an article that has be all befuddled as to what our government is doing to protect us. I'm glad that we're spending millions and billions and trillions of dollars on shit that just doesn't work. If you go through the simulation, you'll find that these projectiles have no explosives. They rely on the force of the impact to destroy the incoming missile. Somehow, that doesn't make me feel any safer. Then again, if I spent all my time worrying about all the stupid shit that the government wants us to worry about so we'll vote republican and eventually lose all our personal freedoms, I'd probably have six uclers and be committed to the local institution that saw fit to care for me.

I'd also like to share the story that warmed my heart so well this morning. It's more than worth the read.

Nothing.

I got nothing. I read through the news, and completely lost confidence in some stuff, decided it wasn't worth it, and read through my blogroll. All you guys got good stories, stuff that warmed my heart up this morning. Me, I'm just sleepy.

More later. I'm sure once my brain comes around, I'll be able to write something intelligent. Or comprehensible. Hopefully both.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Atten-hut!

I would like to bid my sincerest condolences to the family of Jumpin' Joe Beryle. I've read his story before, and I believe him to be a hero. Rest in peace.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

Well, like Operation Iraqi Freedom, not quite, but good enough for me for right now. I've finished all but one of my rounds for pub quiz tonight, the last one I can't do at work, but will have an easy time doing when I get home. If you're planning on going tonight, be warned that there will not be a picture round tonight, because I haven't gotten around to replacing my printer's ink cartidges yet, so there's no color prints(or black and white, for that matter). Fortunately I have a second printer, but it's only black and white, so bear with me tonight, ok?

I think I wrote a good quiz for tonight. Last week's was too hard. This week's, I think it's pretty easy. We'll see.

So, my day started off pretty well, until a few minutes ago when I noticed that my watch was catching on the Number One Super Tie- pulling on various threads in my tie at least 4 times, and, possibly ruining my favorite tie. So, if there are any sewing/fabric geniouses who read my little corner of cyberspace, please let me know how I can fix my favorite tie.

And before I forget, I wanted to remind everyone of one of my favorite nuggets of "so-called" wisdom from last year, the 10 Myths and Realities of the Tech Desk Worker.

More later.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Moby Dick part II

Call me Dumbass.

That's the name of my customer, on the phone with me now. I've been dealing with him all afternoon. He real name is used in the first line of Moby Dick. I've replaced it with the only word left in my head.

He actually set a record by being the second person in a week to do this to me.

I need a drink. Or 50.

Southern National Atlantic Forensic University

To know me is to know how much I love to swear. I'll drop an f-bomb anywhere, which has obviously made me an ideal vice presidential candidate. Or presidential. However, in my endless attempts at curbing my potty mouth, I try to keep the swears in my blog titles relatively undetectable.

Things are surprisingly slow today. I'm not complaining one bit. Although I will say that having to explain what icons are to someone really steamed my shit.

I've been fed. My boss bought us Giordano's for lunch. I had a salad(and half a slice of delicious pizza). My attitude, while still not the best, is improving.

Yet another exchange with the mind-bogglingly stupid.

This one, well, was worse than pulling teeth. I might as well have been trying to help my cat use the computer. At least she knows when to give up and just be cute:

Me: What program are you using?
Cust: I don't know.
Me: Well, what does it look like?
Cust: It's normal, it's all working normal.
Me(frustration building): How did you access it?
Cust: I accessed it normally, you know...
Me: Sir, I'm trying to figure out what program of ours you're using. Telling me that you access it "normally" doesn't help. How, exactly did you access it?
Cust: Oh, I click on the icon and I go to futureorders.com, click on the login.
Me: You're using our website, you might want to keep that in mind for future calls. Now, what screen are you going to to get quotes?
Cust: I'm not going to any screen, I'm just going to the page with the create order, quite quote...
Me: That's the futures orders screen, sir.
Cust: Oh.
Me: So, are you using your snapshot quotes or using quick quote?
Cust: I put in SF for Swiss Franc, then March, then 04 for the year...
Me: That won't work, you need to put in 05 for the year, otherwise you're trying to get a quote on a long-since expired contract.
Cust(laughing): Oh, how stupid of me, that's my problem.
VIMH*: That's not your only problem, asshat oh-ooooooooooooh!

Oh, how I love Mondays. I need a drink.

* Please recall that the Voice in My Head is played by the late, great Sam Kinison. Somehow it makes sense.

Always a ______, never a _______.

In following with my theory that whenever you come in early or stay late at your job, the first thing you should do is make sure everyone knows what a good little worker bee you are, I am posting right away this morning. Of course, I've already made myself a cup of tea, changed the hedge code and margin on some guy's account, and figured out where to find WXRT's streaming radio(it's really far too quiet here this morning), checked our communal e-mail and started up the sim trading database.

Anyways, I'm probably overstepping my bounds here, but I'm going to break some news before the news is broken by those in charge of making said news. Apologies to them. The point is, I've served many different roles in weddings: Acolyte, best man, groomsman(twice), videographer(twice), dj, fill-in speech giver for the maid of honor, hotel room "decorating" consultant, family photographer, and witness, but never before have I served in the roll of Bridesman. My big debut comes up in 285 days, at the Redhead-Accordion(or Accordion-Redhead, if you prefer) wedding. I am deeply honored to fill this role for my very dear and special friend Wendy and her betrothed, Joey. She is a wonderful person, he is a great man, and they make each other very happy, which, as I've said before, gives me great hope. Unfortunately, this means that I will not be donning my kilt for the ceremony. I will be wearing a lovely seafoam dress with pumps. I kid.

So, that's my big news this morning. I've got a pub quiz to write, so I'd better get on it, as it were. More later, providing my job doesn't eat up my day, as we're two people short today. So far, however, things have been quiet(knock of particle board).

Friday, December 10, 2004

As promised, a recap of Refco's holiday party.

Co-worker W and I get off work at 3:30, so we had about 2 hours to kill before the party got started. So, we stowed our stuff in his car, and headed over to the Govnor's Pub for a couple drinks before we had to redon our suit jackets and head into our corporate party. Our other co-worker M joined us around 5- and off we went.

Our party was at the 'historic' Chicago Theatre(known for it's large overlit sign that says, aptly, "Chicago" on it)- and the marquee told everyone so. Us tech support guys primarily stayed together, doing a lot of people watching. The liquor was top shelf. The food, was, well, good, but not all that. They put up a dance floor on the stage(I can now say I've been on the stage of the Chicago Theatre) and played mostly crappy songs that quite a few people danced to. Not me, though. No way.

We had fun, I had fun, for at least part of it. Free vodka tonics tend to make me happy, so it was ok. W, M and I did take off(WMD, as it were) about 8, because, well, we just didn't want to stay. I was tired and wanted to go home and watch er, W has to drive all the way back to the far north suburbs, and M used us as an excuse to get out. The whole idea behind our early exit was that we get fed and a nice buzz from the free food and drink, then leave before people start talking to us and we start saying all those things that we can't say on our recorded lines.

It was a good strategy.

I had a different title a moment ago...

but after seeing what's really going on, I'm less enthusiastic.

You see, I found this article about Brett Favre shaving his head to support his cancer-stricken wife who's undergoing chemotherapy.

The I saw that he just got a buzz-cut. C'mon man, go for it all, then I'll really be impressed.

And in other news, fuck you, Yankee Bluejeans. You still lost.

Your early morning entertainment

I found this on Fark, and fell immediately in love with it. It's a name that tune game where you type in the band, and they play part of the song, you then click on the track you think it is. It's kinda fun.

More later, including a report on last night's holiday party.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Wanted: Proof Reader.

I'm not sure if the position is actually available, but when I clicked on this article, I immediately felt wrong about the headline.

It took me a minute, then I realized that they were closing out their careers. I felt so much better. Big shouts out to them, though, they actually made soccer somewhat interesting to me for a while. A feat that cannot be overstated.

Banner Morning.

I was barely able to keep my eyes open last night, thanks to my lack of sleep coupled with an extra intensive PT session, which included, for the first time in a long time, jogging. I got home after that, eventually made dinner, and settled in for an evening alone on the couch- something I so desperately needed it hurt. Essentially, I was in bed by 10:30, and happy to be so.

That, however, didn't get me out the door in time this morning. Our company party is tonight, and I couldn't find my suit pants anywhere. Knowing I would be late, I elected to take a cab, an expensive habit that I need to break, but let's face it, I got here early, again.

My boss forwards his line to our collective line when he knows he's going to be out of the office for extended periods, and one of those calls came in this morning, and because I know it's a super easy call usually(no, he's not in, can I take a message type thing) I picked it up. Here's what happened:

Me: Tech Support, this is Dave.
Caller: Dave? Jack O'Callahan here.
My heart: tha-------thump.

Having worked at Tower for so long, I've been around celebrities, and I can keep my shit together(although when Joe Strummer was in, it was really, really hard). Fortunately for me, I was able to keep it together this morning. He was calling about a software platform that we don't officially support, but I've been trained on, so I went out of my way to make sure that one of my heroes was taken care of.

All in a day's work, no?

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Even my dad says I'm going to hell.

Yesterday, I sent my father, the man called a heretic in the MN State Senate for his views on creationism, this picture. His resoponse?
You're goin' to hell!

See ya' there,

Dad

Isn't it good to know that the acorn didn't fall far from the tree?

I am dragging today, and it's all my fault. After pub quiz, I hung out with reader M and her friend O. We had drinks. Several drinks. And some really good conversation. Although I still don't think the Replacements are all that and a bag of chips.

Pub quiz was too hard last night. I sorta knew it was when I wrote it, but I kept going anyways. I have to work on making the questions easier, yet not too easy. It's one of those balance things that I as a libra should be all good at, but I'm failing miserably so far.

Then, there was this morning. My understanding is that going to bed at midnight and waking up at 4:30 is a not the best way to attack a Wednesday, but I did it anyways, and I got to work 15 minutes early, completely because I was walking to the train and saw the 6:02 take off from the station. Not a good sign, because it's the last train to get me to work on time. So I weighed me options, and hit the ATM and took a cab. Next thing you know, I'm at work, early, and falling asleep at my desk, just like I should be.

Picking me up today is none other than the onion, with the "What Do You Think?" section on Americans Marrying Later:
"Oh, great. First my grandmother starts pestering me about not being married, then my parents, and now the national media."

Dale Steele
Systems Analyst


Ah, bliss.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

The Ghost of Peter Sellers

I stopped at Trader Joe's on my way home so I could get some stuff to make my now staple meal, spicy baked pork chops, and as I was standing in line at the checkout, I spied a man who could easily have been the late, great Peter Sellers. I was awestruck. The resemblance was incredible, but alas, I know that my favorite actor died years ago.

The hat he wore, however, made him look a little like Patrick MacNee.

In an unrelated story, my Left-Handed friend sent me this link. Food for thought.

It's finally happened.

Customer: It's frozen- I click and nothing happens.
Me: Do you mean Refco Express, the downloaded version?
Customer: Yes. Do you see what I mean? I'm clicking and nothing happens. Watch this. *clicks mouse repeatedly* Do you see that?
Me(patience has been entirely replaced by fear and awe): Of course not.

For a second I thought my head might go pop.

A brief tribute to Meatloaf

I've received the strandings update from my brother for our picks league. I'm comfortably(although not too comfortably leading the league with 128 right and 64 incorrect picks this year, yielding the unending percentage of 66.6666(ad nauseam)%.

Indeed, two out of three ain't bad.

I just finished up tonight's pub quiz. I've got some fun rounds tonight, and I'm jumping to get this rolling. In case you live in Chicago and don't know about it, pub quiz runs from 8 til 10 on Tuesdays at the Globe Pub at 1934 W Irving Park Road. It's $5 to play, you can have teams of up to 5 people, and I give out prizes and such. We've had some nice turnouts for the last month or so, and I'd like to see more.

Hope to see you there.

Rumors of my untimely demise are completely untrue.

I've been apathetic towards the blog lately. I'm not sure why. I've just been so damn buzy it seems- without actually being that busy.

Anyways, if you're one of those folks who prays and all, say one for the victims of the fire on LaSalle last night. They deserve it. Me, I'm sending positive vibes.

Let me recap what happened to me this weekend(I've promised myself that I'm going to blog more on weekends, so I don't write this lengthy post all the time):

Friday I had PT, which was fun, then headed to dinner with my roommate at the Globe. Had a nice conversation with one of the waitresses who was mugged in my neighborhood(something that almost never happens). The cops caught the guy, and she took some time off to get healthy(she was hit in the head with a bottle). Afterwards, I headed up to friend A's house for a movie night, most of which we spent at the dive bar down the street, the Ho, the only bar I've been to so far that has a Polkaholics CD in the jukebox. We did eventually start a movie, but decided it was time for bed because we were proctoring the CFA exam the next morning at McCormick Place. This is the easiest way to $300 and a frontal lobotomy, as I put it to my friend T on Saturday night. We're not allowed to read, talk, or do anything but scowl at these poor test takers, making sure they don't cheat or talk or breath funny or anything other than answer questions on their test. It's kinda weird. It was during that time that "I Used to Love Her" by GnR came creeping into my head, and took up residence for most of the morning session. I had a minor brainstorm for an invention at one point- something I'm going to try to develop, but I need an electrical engineer to help out. More on that as it develops.

After the somewhat gruelling 11 hour day, A and I dropped off a couple other proctors and went to, for some reason, the Globe for dinner and drinks before I retired to my house for a pick-me-up shower before I attended the "holiday party" for badresa.com, my friend's e-zine about, well, all things Chicago. It was a good night, and I got to see a couple friends I hadn't seen since my birthday party, so I was a happy man.

Sunday, despite a moderate hangover in the morning(too many Iron City beers, I suspect) I noticed something about my new medication- I really feel sick to my stomach when I'm doing something I'm not supposed to do anyways, like drinking or eating fatty foods. The nausea is almost enhanced by these things. I'm trying not to think that my GP is passive-aggressively trying to get me to quit drinking and become a vegetarian.

Yesterday I wasted my day. Completely wasted it. I didn't do any of the things on my list to do: trip to the bank, grocery store, and hardware store. Laundry was finally started(but only after 4), but only halfway completed. The catbox wasn't cleaned, and the dishes weren't done. I sat on my ass, and damn but it felt good.

This morning I woke up, rolled over, and took my blood pressure. It was an amazing(for me lately, anyways) 106/64- not too shabby for someone who's cholesterol is so high I'm on that damn medication. It's also further proof that I should probably just stay in bed with my cat all day.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Perhaps I should turn in my title.

I just took this test to determine how angry I am, and I only got 66%.

Perhaps I'm not the angriest man in Chicago after all.

Intensity in ten cities!

A couple weeks ago we were asked if we would go to a photoshoot for our company, and my co-worker went, had his pictures taken, and is finally live on our website here.

Feel free to make fun of him- he's kinda easy to spot. Makes me damn glad I didn't go for it, too. I hate having pictures taken of me.

A funny from last week.

Last Friday night I went to dinner with my aunt, uncle, and their twin daughters, my lovely and very fun cousins. They're 10 years old now, and really fun to be with. Whenever I see them I give them really hard spelling words, and they learn them and the next time I see them, they put on a show of how well they learned the word. The first time it was magnetohydrodynamics. This trip it was dendrochronology. After mastering dendrochronology in just one day, the elder of the twins(by 7 minutes) wanted to go head to head on multiplication tables. I deftly avoided that confrontation, but showed off my mental prowess by computing how many days old they were in my head. This impressed both of them immensely, and lead to the younger of my cousins to write this, which I am not editing for spelling or grammar, so please, bear with us:
I was born in 1994 and it is now 2004 oh heke I have now idea what I'm saying so how about we say I'm not as good as my cousin Dave, because he can figure out all of this stuff in his head and I have no idea how he does it so he must be a robot because he cinda knows every thing to me. maybe he knows everythign because maybe he is a canadian spy from canada. OR maybe he is just my rayguler cousin Dave!

She then passed it to her mother so she could read it, who passed it to me. After I finished she asked for it back, and added the following:
When Dave read this letter he went bazar or that was how I think he ractid.

I told her I wasn't better than her, and that she was awesome. I asked her if I could keep her letter so I could put it on my fridge, right next to the valentines she and her sister made me in February. In reality, I've been carrying it with me all week, and reading it from time to time when I need a pick-me-up.

Aren't I just a sentimental sap?

Damn dirty pills!

I spent last night, after cancelling my plans, on the couch, very near a trashcan. My body has yet to acclimate to my new medication and it's whole dizzy-nausea punch. I am, as the saying goes, feeling a whole lot better this morning, though. Thankfully. I didn't want to have to stay in this weekend. Of course, I'll be spending tomorrow with a bunch of wannabe financial accountants, so it's not like I've got big plans.

I did want to go see my friend's band, terminal bliss tonight, but I have to be at McCormick Place at 6:30 tomorrow, so that's just not going to happen. It's movie night for my friend A and I- then we're off to make $300 for just sitting around being quiet and making sure people don't cheat. Not a lot of fun, but I'll take the money and run anyday.

To make up for having to stay in tonight, I have Monday off, which makes Sunday night a night of rare fun for me. Yippie.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

I saw a Dead Head sticker on a Cadillac

And a little voice inside my head said
WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST TELL YOU?

I was just moments ago on the phone with another one of our clients. The role of Voice in My Head is played by the late, great, Sam Kinison.

Here's a little exchange:
Me: Restart your computer.
Cust: Restart, or shut down?
VIMH: WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST TELL YOU? Oh-Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!
Me: (impatiently) Restart.

another one:
Me: When the Java Console comes up, press G to collect garbage, then X to clear out the classloader.
Cust: OK.
VIMH: Go forth and compute, you FUCKING IDIOT!
Me: So, that's all you have to do.
Cust: Oh. I thought you were going to do that for me.
VIMH: Yes, asshat, I'm going to come to your house and press two buttons on your keyboard. ASSHOLE!
Me: No, just type that when the console comes up, and you should be fine. Call me if you're still having problems.

I'm so glad the voice in my head still sounds like Sam Kinison to me. I'm also glad that it doesn't come out my mouth that often. I'd probably be looking for a new job by now.

Memories revisited.

I've been forever struggling with my Lycos e-mail account, because there's no storage on it, and well, frankly, I'm too lazy to move completely over to my gmail account. Today I decided it would be good of me to go through the e-mail folders and clean out old e-mails that a sentimental idiot like myself keep around, when I came across the folder of an old girlfriend. Curious to see what was left in there as I thought I had rid myself of all our correspondence(our relationship was, shall we say, frantic). What did I find in there? Two e-mails, dealing with the same subject: a "Survey with a Twist." Basically, it's one of those e-mail surveys that reveals how much the taker knows about the person who sent it to them. You fill out questions about me, and I for you. Of her responses, here are my favorites:
8. When you first saw me what was your impression? I want
to have my way with him.

12. Color eyes? brown (and occassionally gold)
16. What's one of my fav. things to do indoors? See, I would say sex here, but I know it's watching hockey.
19. What is the best feature about me? You would say your ass, but I'm not going to stroke your ego like that. I'm going to say your snobby intellect.
21. Would you say I am funny ha ha or funny sarcastic? A little from column A, a whole truck load from column B.
24. Would you call me preppy, slutty, average,sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else? Black-T-shirt-wearin'-always-got-shorts-on-bike-ridin'-hockey-guy

It makes me wish that I still had my copy that I filled out for her- although I could probably still get everything right on it(again), I'm curious to see what I did write.

If, by the way, you'd like to play that game, e-mail me and I'll send you a copy of the survey.

New Sensation(s)

I picked up my new prescription yesterday and happily started my new regimen, despite the rather unfortunate combination of side effects(I was assured by my pharmacist that these will go away after a couple days) of nausea and dizziness. Nausea, as everyone knows, isn't much fun. The dizziness, which adds to the nausea, gives me a headache as well.

Basically, expect my angry posts to become more frequent, as I lose patience with our clients. You've been warned.

Also among my purchases last night was a new blood pressure monitor- which works like a charm and also reassures me that things are getting better- this morning's reading was 124/64. Not bad, not bad.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

My new desktop

I had to share this article from the Onion.


I love the Onion.
Posted by Hello

Food for thought.

Well, liquids for thought.

I came across this on Fark and thought it merited sharing, especially for those who are stuck putting gas in their cars.

Thursday night is band night.

After finally catching up on my blogroll, I discovered on Metroblog Chicago that two of my favourite Canadians, Tegan and Sara, will be performing at Double Door Thursday night. I'm looking for people willing to keep me out past my bedtime to join me for a night of good music and drinks.

Tickets are $10 in advance, FYI.

What would Brian Boitano do?

After accidentally oversleeping(damn alarm clock) I discovered something rather unsettling about my shoes. They have almost no traction at all.

It's not like I'm running up the middle between my offensive line or anything, but I mean, if it's slightly icy and I'm dancing to get to the train, this can be a bad combination, especially for someone with shitty knees, like me. Well, one shitty knee, the other is on the mend- and doing great.