How I learned to stop worrying and love my thirties.
I am a thirty-something with stuff to say. Sometimes I'll even type it out.
It's true. Just came down- as in, it was just announced on TV not more than 20 minutes ago- Nomar Garciaparra will be wearing Cubbie blue.
Through a post in All Things Jen(nifer), you, too can take a World Geography Quiz. See how you stack up against my numbers:
I did pretty much the exact same thing I did last night as the previous Friday night, save for the fact that I didn't fall asleep on the couch during the movie. I did, however, manage to sleep past sunrise, something I'm very proud of. Of course, it's so cloudy its hard to tell that the sun is up at all.
Mostly because of my computer problems, but also because of other people's computer problems.
I installed a stat tracker on the good ol' blog, and I've been having a great time learning about who comes here, and how they get here. My favorite thus far is that I am the 9th ranked link for MS symptoms masturbation adrenaline on Google. How, I don't know, but it's still interesting to me that someone would a) search for that and b) find me through it.
I wandered into the wrong part of the internet this morning.
I am too damn tired from this week to even consider not being in my house right now, and I'm happy to report that I haven't left the couch much since the 6 o'clock Simpsons was on. Perhaps the omen of me having a line from my favorite episode stuck in my head was odd, but my absolute favorite episode was on tonight, so I sat on the couch and ate some sandwiches and laughed uncontrollably for 30 minutes. I was so happy, I didn't bother to do anything else tonight. No laundry. No dishes. No sanding and second coat on the new bookshelves.
Not me.
Pat(frequent poster and old friend) sends me the greatest little snippets of the internet. Today was no different. Tonight, after physical therapy(read: torture of the knee) and dinner with friends(read: needing a drink after torture of the knee) I shall be sitting down to this game, and playing until I fall asleep(around about 9:30, the way I feel today).
I think that's what we really need. Last night, the Chicago Outdoor Film Festival showed Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, a movie I probably haven't seen since junior high school. What's on the other side of this? Fahrenheit 9/11. I used to tell people that they should see F9/11 because it has important things that people should hear about in it. I know you'll get hit over the head with Moore's politics and philosophy, but there's still messages in there that people need to hear.
I took a call a bit ago, which isn't a surprise. What was a surprise was the fact that the customer was still dialing- a sure sign that I should have hung up right away, but then it's not nearly as funny of a story to recant to you, my readers. So, after yelling into the phone twice to stop dialing, he finally did, and gets on the phone, only to indicate to me that he not only shouldn't be using a cell phone, but that he shouldn't be placing orders online. There's a fine line between pushing the wrong button on your cell phone and accidentally selling contracts instead of buying them, and losing money in the interim.
The kind folks who own the rights to "This Land is Your Land" are trying to bring legal action against the guys who made the hilarious Bush/Kerry parody of that song(I managed to see it a couple days before it hit the mainstream, but was too busy laughing my ass off to post the link). My favorite part of the article comes at the very end, when there's an example of how the song would go with the two opposing sides of the lawsuit were singing:
TRO: "You've hurt our music!"
Jibjab: "You've got no humor!"
Both: "This judge will surely side with me!"
After our busy morning, we've settled down into a nice lullful afternoon, plagued with the random idiot callers. There have been a lot lately.
We've got a guy out sick(he sent me a text message at 5:45, as I was in the shower), and marketing went through and changed the format of our website again, and neglected to include a vital link(read: calls a-plenty!).
J and I made a trek to the Chicagoland area's IKEA this morning, and, some $168 later, I am the proud owner of new DVD racks, new shower curtain and liner, doormats, and a new bookshelf. I even went to the hardware store and got myself a poly & stain mixture so I can make my bookshelves all dark and pretty. I feel so domestic.
In case you haven't been following the comments war over at The Redhead's blog, you should consider reading the comments on the following posts:
I had an early night last night, by design. I was tired. I needed to try to get some sleep, so I set a goal to sleep past 7. I almost made it, waking from a wonderful dream at 6:20.
This is potentially going to be an extremely long post. I apologize.
Beecause they put up votes like this, and they're fun. It took me a minute to decide, but I'm pretty sure you all know who I voted for.
I am stupid sometimes, and I do stupid things.
Proving that you can't keep a good server down, we're back in business.
If they not only amend the U.S. Constitution to ban gay marriage, Dan, but also put language in there forcing gay guys to marry women, who would get to be the lucky Mrs. Savage?
Just Curious
Wonkette, of course, as she's the only woman I know who likes to talk about ass-fucking as much as I do (www.wonkette.com). If Wonkette won't have me, then I'd pop the question to Mary Cheney, Vice-President Dick Cheney's lesbo daughter. Mary worked for the Bush/Cheney campaign in 2000, doing outreach to gay and lesbian voters—effective outreach, apparently, as almost 25 percent of them went for Bush. (You dumbfucks!) Mary is working for her dad again this year, in spite of the fact that her dad and her dad's boss want to write anti-gay bigotry into the U.S. Constitution. As Mary's husband, I would do all I could to make her absolutely miserable. I wouldn't beat her (I reserve that for people I like), but I would pee on the toilet seat every morning, fart under the covers every night, and remind her at every opportunity that she's the most despised American lesbian since Mamie Eisenhower.
I'm mad about this, but can't really put it into words. Perhaps this exerpt will help me focus:
Michael Jackson (news) wants "a celebrity exception to the First Amendment" which will keep much of his child molestation case secret, a media lawyer argued in a motion filed Tuesday.
Theodore Boutrous Jr., answering a defense motion defending secrecy and deriding press coverage, accused Jackson's lawyers of engaging in a "misguided tirade" against the press while displaying "insensitivity to basic First Amendment values."
Boutrous challenged Jackson's claim that he wants the same rights as other defendants.
"What he is really seeking is a blanket celebrity exception to the First Amendment that would turn the notion of public access upside down," said Boutrous, who represents a coalition of news organizations including The Associated Press.
It was just hidden by the bad news:
As I was doing all the research over my blog to find all the links for my previous entry, I was wondering where I hid this one, which is the one I needed to read the most, and should probably read each and every day, so I stop straying away from it.
My friend A and I were talking yesterday as she was moving her address book from one e-mail account to another. Seems a silly thing, until she said "I just deleted my dad's e-mail from my addressbook." Her father died in February 2003, chronologically third in the now lengthening list of people, either friends, idols, or relatives of friends, who have recently passed.
Here it is, complied, long-winded, but all 50 questions answered. Try to make it through. There's some interesting stuff about me in there. At least, I hope there is.
Recently, Erin-Go-Blog has started the 100 things about me, 20 at a time(installment 1, installment 2), list. Also, my friend T displayed a 50-item list of questions designed to help you know her better on her MySpace account.
I don't know how it crawled in here, but the song Patience by Guns N' Roses has been throughly stuck in my head for the last 45 minutes. This is funny, because that song was me and my first love's song, way way way back in the winter of 1988. Here I am, almost 16 years later, reliving all those bad memories of the breakup and laughing at the fact that in the last 15 years since we broke up- which, now that I think about it, happened almost exactly 15 years ago, that would explain it- we've exchanged maybe 4 words. I see from her profile on classmates.com that she is married with one kid, living in North Dakota and owns a SUV. I hope she's happy.
My Sunday was full of sitting around- laziness and hangovers made for a slow, slow day. I needed it. I calculated that I finally had no plans for the first time in almost a month- and I loved it.
I had just written this rather long post about waking up too early and how my physical therapist beat the shit out of my knee yesterday. Then, it disappeared. Thanks, undoubtedly, to, well, fate. I was commenting about how I was being transformed into either The Terminator or Darth Vader, when one of the sites I was linking to decided to crash, and that just dominoed.
Not only did he apparently solve the rank mystery from yesterday, he also sent me this link via e-mail a bit ago, which I've been laughing my ass off at for quite some time.
My friend T sent me this link on my MySpace account last night. I've been going through the quizzes for the last, oh, 90 minutes or so. They're so damn hard. I'm loving each and every moment, believing myself to be quite the movie buff(apparently not so much), but have only managed a best score of 5 out of 8, on quizzes 171 and 158. I usually get 3 or 4, but just can't break through.
I need, require, have to, gimme-gimme find a job like this. Teaching is a dominant gene in my family- my dad, brother, great-aunt, great-grandmother. If you go back through that family's history, it becomes more and more prevalent. I'm pretty sure I could teach a class about the Simpsons, amongst other things. I wonder if there's a Chicago school who's looking for a teacher of Simpsons knowledge. I would so kick ass.
...that I picked up from All Things Jen(nifer):
I have to share this, because it's too funny.
From the Onion's Opinion page:
I am often perplexed by how my mind goes from point a to point b(ad nauseam). Today I pulled a weird one.
Yesterday's physical therapy appointment went pretty much the way you would have expected it. We talked, we made me walk, balance and all kinds of nasty things to do to a weak knee with a penchant for evil. After being measured, checked, and compared, we did some exercises, and then my favorite part, the electro-stimulation, with ice bags on both my knee and ankle, which is swelling from the injury as well. At least, that's why I hope it's swelling.
Always, the first time I'm going to see a doctor or other medical professional, I get a little anxious. So, here I am, feeling anxious about my physical therapy. I think I'm just having flashbacks to being 19 and starting the whole fiasco up.
This is going to be a rather disjointed and long-winded entry today. I've got a few things on my mind.
1. Losing the North Stars to Dallas, 1993
Minnesota fans love their hockey. So it was especially distressing when Norm Green announced on March 10, 1993 that he was moving the North Stars to Dallas. The following month, the North Stars played their final game in Minnesota, on April 13 against the Blackhawks. They needed a win to possibly get the last seed in the playoffs -- but they lost, 3-2. Extra security was hired for that final game at the Met Center -- there were a lot of very angry fan, chanting some very vulgar things about Norm Green. Six years later, the Stars finally won their first Stanley Cup. Minnesota fans did get a new NHL team, the Wild, which began play in 2000.
My cat would never receive a military rank. She's too much of a wimp, anyways. Ok. She's not really a wimp, but she is skittish as all get out.
There's this company making t-shirts with nasty, provocative messages in braille. Apparently, if the person you're trying to flirt with doesn't read braille, you can flip up the bottom and let them know what it says. I think I'd like mine to say "Once you've had a bald man, you'll never go back!"
He's this guy that's called here at least 4 times today who apparently needs help peeing. He may be beyond help. He certainly does try my patience. I will say that much.
Well, at least I'm out of the house. Being back at work isn't all that and a bag of chips, I will say. I don't think I would have lasted at home another day. I was too bored.
In the spirit of the upcoming olympic games, I decided that was a funny title. Not to mention that yesterday I was so bored that I was actually watching olympic tryouts. Once, way, way back in the day, I was offered an opportunity to try out. I declined. I was too far out of practice and my knees were getting really bad, as was the style at the time.
At 1pm today I'm having my knee looked at by the same doctor who took care of me on Sunday morning. I'm guessing that I'll have my knee immobilized for a week or so, but other than that, I'm bored off my ass and really want to get out of the house! I've been here since 6am yesterday, and have barely left the sofa. I own a lot of DVDs, but I need more! More, more, more!
Last night's LATE Ride was a complete disaster. Our route, which was designed to be fun, made me miserable. Given, I might have been spoiled by the MS Ride. For the MS ride, we had about 1500 cyclists who started the course or rural highways in about 10 minute intervals. For the LATE ride, we had almost 10,000 cyclists leaving in waves of 2,000, crowding the streets of Chicago. Here's what it really boils down to: I paid $41.15 to bike a course that I could bike on any other day of the week, with the added reality of dodging traffic and people, just like I would on any other day. It was dangerous. It was unprotected. The requirements for participating include wearing a helmet at all times and riding with a headlight, but I saw probably about 1/3 of the people riding without one or the other of these things, some with neither.
I feel good, and I'm accomplishing things that I needed to get done. Up to an including cancelling my old dial-up service, which took (un)surprisingly long.
As I'm sure most folks already know, AT&T Wireless was recently purchased by Cingular Wireless. I, as a matter of now public record, am a customer of the rather crappy AT&T Wireless service. For the last 2 days or so, I have either lost my signal all together, or shown that my service is now Cingular, but, if I make or receive a call while I have Cingular service on my phone, it apparently counts as roaming charges.
When I was a kid, I dreamed the songs. I would run with what little money I had to sneak a popsicle in before dinner. It was heavenly. Fast forward 15 years. I'm living in Brooklyn, and it's a miserable summer day, and my apartment is completely bare, save for some clothes, a futon I just bought, and a fan with a 4.5 inch diameter. My apartment is half a block from Fort Greene Park- a place frequently cruised by what seemed like a hundred thousand different trucks, all playing the music too loud. I went, for lack of a better word, insane. I had actually asked a friend of mine who was writing screenplays, that if he could work it in for me, that in some movie at some point in his career include a scene where I blow up an ice cream truck with a bazooka or some other massive weapon that makes things blow up big. Fast forward 5 more years. I'm in my apartment, enjoying a Strawberry Shortcake ice cream pop and watching the Simpsons. Suddenly, I'm reminded that I need a bazooka as I hear the truck pull down the street...
I said it yesterday, and I'll say it today: I love tests. I'm a nerd, a geek, whatever horrible word you want to throw at me. Joey just posted his results to the test in the aforementioned link, along with a link to one of several Myers-Briggs tests that are out there.
Yes, it's new features day here at Logan's Dave!
Not me, I'm not that lucky(case in point, I'm not $290M richer after last week's drawing).
You know why people do spring cleaning? Because they want things to be clean.
I'm frequently a fan of silly tests, as anyone who reads this blog with any regularity would testify, so when I came across this test via All Things Jen(nifer), I had to take it. My results:
You are a WECL--Wacky Emotional Constructive Leader. This makes you a people's advocate. You are passionate about your causes, with a good heart and good endeavors. Your personal fire is contagious, and others wish they could be as dedicated to their beliefs as you are.
Your dedication may cause you to miss the boat on life's more slight and trivial activities. You will feel no loss when skipping some inane mixer, but it can be frustrating to others to whom such things are important. While you find it difficult to see other points of view, it may be useful to act as if you do, and play along once in a while.
In any event, you have buckets of charisma and a natural skill for making people open up. Your greatest asset is an ability to make progress while keeping the peace.
Most folks want the bad news first, so here it is: my company does not match donations raised for charity. So I'm going to have to try harder to get to my $5000. Good news is, my boss and my boss' boss are both contributing today.
I got the link to this article from All Things Jen(nifer), and just had to share it with my public, so we could all revel in it.
A recent conversation that makes me want to refer all calls to this customer, who did an invaluable service to me by admitting that he made a mistake:
Right now my site doesn't seem to be loading properly, but I have to share some idiocy:
or, how I spent my Fourth of July Weekend:
I'm too tired/lazy/hungry to blog about the weekend quite yet. I will, however, share with you a new favorite picture:
I just got off the phone with a rather idiotic man. Not only was he unwilling to have me e-mail him the link to download our software(a time saver it is), but the following happened while I read him the URL:
Ok, the youngest of us just turned 30, so I think that qualifies us all as men, but the pictures from the MS Ride are up. Here's what you do to go see them:
During this weekend, I will be meeting for the first time in the real world, none other than Accordion Guy. I am very excited, because Wendy and I are good friends and I hate it when I don't get to scope her new men out. The warning is well-merited, as I have been informed that Joey and I will be performing the Alabama Song.
It seems to me, in this modern world of spell checkers, that we've lost the art of proofreading. Mind you, I am notorious for leaving gross errors in my blog and correspondence and cursing myself afterwards, but that doesn't mean I can't call it my pet peeve.
The canyon would have been rich in wildfire: elk, deer, bighorn sheep, bear, mountain lions, wild turkeys - all animals that Wilcox says are still around, but in lesser numbers due to modern hunting pressure in the larger Book Cliffs region.
My official review of Fahrenheit 9/11(read at your own risk, there will be some spoilers):
I've finally got digital copies of pictures from the ride last weekend, but forgot to bring them with me to work this morning. I can be dumb like that, sometimes.
